Sea Billows Roll

Just a quick word tonight about "Peace Like a River" by Horatio Spafford - it is a well known story that he wrote this after his four daughters drowned in a shipwreck.

What isn't always well known is that two years before, his son had died - just before the great fire in Chicago. Spafford was a lawyer, heavily invested in Chicago real estate and lost nearly everything yet continued to work helping those who had also lost everything. I'm sure there are many references, but I found a pretty good Wikipedia article that covers most of the points of the story.

Anyway, we were in the car, going to some friends' camp on Colchester Point for an evening of barbecue and fun together. I was feeling particularly sad (although looking forward to our time together on the lake) but for some reason I started thinking about the song 'When Peace Like a River' - but more particularly about the part 'When sorrows like sea billows roll' - and how Peace may flow like a river, but Sorrow indeed comes in like ocean waves; just when you think it has passed, another one rolls in on you.

It occurred to me that once again I was being reminded that whether it was 'Peace' or 'Sorrow' the real issue was whether it was 'well with my soul'. And that my faith is not dependent upon circumstances - indeed, a faith that requires only the experience of God's blessings to sustain it will soon be overturned by the trials of this life.

As I reflected upon this, a strange, bittersweet calm filled my heart - the pain of our loss was still there, but the assurance that I would someday see him - and more importantly, see my Lord Jesus - welled up inside me for a few moments.

The sadness returned, but it was a brief glimpse of a deeper truth - as the song "Good Life" says (Audio Adrenaline, again) -

Sorrow's opened up my eyes
To see what real joy is
Pain has been the catalyst
To my heart's happiness

What good would it be
If you had everything
But you wouldn't have
The only thing you need

Of course, this was one of the songs we chose for the funeral service - and others have written about the place where we find deep in the sorrow of our hearts the one place where the true 'living water' bubbles up. It was a bit stunning to have touched it briefly - I don't like digging down there too much because it hurts a lot - but that brief taste makes me less afraid of trying to get there again. The problem is it means letting the sea billows roll - but just like at the beach, if they are big enough and you try to fight them, they just knock you on your ass.....and after a while, that becomes rather pointless.