As good as it gets....

No word yet from the hospital as to when we can meet with the docs to go over the autopsy. The wife and I spent some time in the blow up 'floaties' out in the blow-up pool in the back yard this evening talking - we both decided that today we both had the same thought that maybe we weren't going to ever feel better. I think this might be a common thought in the midst of grief - but of course it is all new territory for us.

It gives me a totally new understanding of that scene where Jack Nicholson walks through his therapist's waiting room and looks at all the patients and says 'What if this is as good as it gets?'.

I had to have a long talk with God about that - I want Him to enter into our hearts more fully and fill up the hurt and empty places, and I have a fair amount of confidence (faith?) that this will be so. Still, the words of 'Get Down' were rolling through my head "This valley is so deep, I can barely see the sun - I cry out for mercy Lord, and He lifts me up again" (Audio Adrenaline). I wonder if it is a function of our generation that everything seems to frame itself in snippets of either popular culture or scripture (or both)?

We miss him more than we ever thought possible - I think this is going to be a very long hard road ahead....oddly, today I thought - it's been a month - I bet everyone else is pretty much thinking its time for us to move on; that might not be true (or fair) but I do wonder...

"I get down, He lifts me up..."